I Was Let Go From My Job: A One Year Reflection

One year ago I went into a staff meeting and I left with the notice that my job was being outsourced. 

I offer this in my humanity … this is the reality I have lived … that many things feel unseen and unknown, “Yet [He] is holy” (Ps. 22v3). How often it doesn’t feel like it, Yet He is holy.

May you accept this as a humble attempt to share my reflections of an unexpected season of loss [of a job]. I understand the sensitivity of this topic and the people involved and purely want to share my learned lessons of navigating a job loss with faith as an anchor for my soul.

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“We shake with joy, we shake with grief. 

What a time they have, these two

housed as they are in the same body.” 

     Mary Oliver 

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Some things that I learned, in no particular order: 

1. Don’t have a mourning period without God.

We are blessed to mourn, for we will be comforted (Matt. 5:4). May we continually lean into this truth! Allow yourself to be comforted by our ultimate Comforter (2 Cor. 1:3-4). 

It’s easy to want to jump into problem-solving mode, or allow some time of eating ice cream and watching our favorite movies. Those are both not inherently bad things (and I did both!), but invite the Lord to be a part of them with you. Create space for mourning with God more than you try to mourn with other methods. I had to fight my pride to try to climb the mourning mountain by myself. I desperately wanted and needed God's comfort to carry me through each day. Ice cream is not a bad companion, but God is much more comforting for the soul.

2. You’re not alone. Even though it feels like it. 

We have God: Our God goes before us and is with us. Does this mean I believe God wanted me to get let go? I’m not claiming that. I’m simply reminding you of our promise that His presence is with us always, until the end of time (Matt. 28v20). Be sensitive to His presence in your life when you feel alone.

We have each other: It turns out I am not the only person who has ever been let go from a job! Haha. Okay, I knew that. But when I was let go, it was easy to forget that simple truth. It felt isolating, partly due to my own doing, and loss and pain often do that to us. They make us believe we are alone and unique in how we feel. While each situation carries uniqueness, well, I guess you could say "there is nothing new under the sun" (Eccl. 1v9). I urge you to lean into your community and let them carry the burden with you. The people that are willing to do that will be revealed. And it may not be the people you think!

3. Being let go sucks … period. 

Whether you see yourself somewhere for the long haul or not, being let go intrudes on how we thought things would play out, on our sense of control. In my case, I knew my role would have to transform at some point, but at the end of the day I just didn’t see it ending this way. It’s unfortunate to face the reality of something you hoped for just simply not working out. Regardless of the role you are in, if you like it or not, if it ends by someone else’s direction, it feels personal and it is hard. 

4. Being “let go” felt the same as being fired. 

From a purely emotional perspective, I know the differences, but knowing that I did not fail in my role did not make it feel better at the time. I simply didn’t have a choice in the matter, so it was an emotional reality to face. I am thankful that in my case, being let go over being fired allowed me flexibility for a full transition out of my role (end date) and continued pay through an agreed timeline. 

5. The hurt lasts or may last longer than you think. And that’s okay. Be honest about it.

I remember saying that I didn’t want to feel this way after a year had passed. So it is quite humbling and difficult to admit that I still experience a lot of deep feelings that I assumed I wouldn’t feel after a year. My caution in this area would be that if you are hurt because you’re unwilling to be comforted, unwilling to face the realities, or unwilling to take steps towards healing, then you likely are living in bitterness and need to cut out those roots within you. 

“How completely it takes the bitterness out of grief… to know that it once was suffered by him” (Charles Spurgeon).

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So, why share all this? This is my public, humble attempt to share life’s realities. It may not be yours, but it is mine. And if it was also yours, is yours, or will be yours, I pray that you would face it honestly and bravely: simply put, as best as you can. May these things I learned this past year offer you at the very least someone else who is rooting you on to keep fighting the good fight, someone who can share your loss with you. If your reading this is not impacted by a personal experience in a job loss, I am glad you cannot share in these feelings. I pray you, too, would be encouraged and able to apply my learnings to your personal story in your own way, in your own losses that look differently. May this point you towards our Good Father, who is always in control even when I think I am, for which I’m thankful for. 

I also know I did not move forward with my new reality perfectly. That is where these things I have learned are grown from. I did, at times, neglect God, separating Him from my disappointment. I did think I was alone, that my experience was not understood. I let my pride keep me from reaching out to those who could have carried my burden with me.

I was desperate for someone to be honest with me, so here is my honest experience: Some hurt and pain still lingers. Yes, even after a year. I wish someone would have told me it was okay to still feel sadness, that I may still not understand, but that I can still move forward while carrying those feelings with me. 

“I do not mention this to exact sympathy, but simply to let the reader see that I am no dry-land sailor… I know the roll of the billows and the rush of the winds” (Charles Spurgeon). 

365 days may not be the timeline for mourning a job loss. Yet He is holy. Day 366 is ahead, full of hope, and my God has been there and is with me. 

“Let the unknown tomorrow bring with it what it may, it cannot bring us anything but what God shall bear us through” (Charles Spurgeon). 

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Resources used and that I would recommend: 

The Holy Bible

You may notice my quotes from Charles Spurgeon. These are from assorted teachings/works of Spurgeon, that I read in Spurgeon’s Sorrows: Realistic Hope for those who Suffer from Depression by Zack Eswine

How to Walk into a Room: The Art of Knowing When to Stay and When to Walk Away by Emily P. Freeman